happy birthday. we couldn’t afford to put a stripper in your cake like you wanted so instead we just put your cake in a stripper. she ate the whole thing in like 2 minutes. you should have been there. it was amazing.
*policeman voice* alright sir im going to have to ask you a few questions. *pulls out notepad* where did you come from? where did you go? *slams fists on interrogation table* where DID you come from cotton eyed joe?
we’re a very non-traditional family. instead of naming our dog, we let our dog name us. my name is Woof, and i’d like you to meet my husband, Woof. these are my kids Woof and Woof